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2008 IHBA Awards Banquet Speech - Jim Jack
You know…the best way to thank over a hundred racing teams and many friends is to be brief tonight…so here goes. Ya’ll got this “Bad Habit” with a “Short Fuse” that seems to be more “Habit Forming” every year looking like a “Déjà Vu” “Hole Shot.”
You swarm around the track filled with “Adolescent Insanity” like a “Mako Force” shark, but come across more like a “Mischief Maker” or a “Loose Cannon” paddling up the “Whisky River” “Without a Trace” of a “Meanstreak.”
Sometimes it’s the “Problem Child” that leaves your “Dragonator” feeling like a “Toxic Rocket” that’s developed a “Liquid Quiker” addiction for the many “Liquid Assets” up for grabs in this incredible “Speed Sports” we’re all a part of.
Many of you at times are “All Lit Up” with a “Top Secret” but “Barely Legal” “Animal Instinct” for a “Sunday Showdown” with “White Lightning” in your veins. Some even need a “Red Alert” style of “Shock Therapy” racing through your system making you feel “Centsless” and hollering like a “Screaming Seaman” in the midst of a “Nightmare.”
Some wake up with a “Milwaukee Bullet” hangover looming like the “Spirit of Texas” from the “Bottoms Up” prompting them to have an “Alter Ego” from a “Blown Budget” because “You’re Next” to some “Critical Mass” from a “Hot Licks” type of “Joint Venture” that occurs from close contact with “Agent Orange.” Or maybe it’s from some “Outa Control” “Monster Energy Drink” that has you as “Rambunctious” as a “Black Draggin” who just took hold of a “Hot Damn Hondo” for some “Liquid Addiction.”
As I gaze back on the year with a little “Excessive Force,” I think ya’ll been “Blow’n Feathers” about the guy who said “I’m Back Hot and Bothered” because of a gorgeous “What a Tomato.” None of our IHBA gals are “Coyote Ugly” with a “Pure Nasty” pulsating “Heartbeat,” because they “Ain’t Scared” of the world’s fastest “Omelette Express.”
Okay “Hot Shot,” if you want “Justice” or a “Fifty Fifty” chance of being a “Desperado” that says “Wine Me Up” big boy “Just For Fun Too.” It’ll take more than an “El Bandito” style “Lap Dance” from an old fashioned “Abracadabra” formula for some southern fried “Nitro Chicken” who thinks the “Danger Zone” of drag boat racing is an easy “Crap Shoot” with “No Clue.”
Hey “Hollywood” come on down. You’re “Way Too Cool” for “Another Temptation” to “Hold My Beer and Watch This” “Almost Stock White Lightning” “Smuggler” who thinks he’s a “Red Hot” “Raticool.”
The time has come to “Kwitcherbitchen” and put on a “Pathilogicole” “Freak Show” while “Mak n Bacon” under the “Barb Wire” whether or not you are a “Water Lily” “Skywalker” or an “Undertaker” who plays with his “Wild Thing” without any “Domestic Disturbance.”
As the “Rapid Fire” lone ranger says, “Hydro Silver” to his best friend riding on his “Trick Pony” after his “Obnoxious Behavior” at the “War Party” … lets “Getter Done.” It’s time to get on the “High Noon Express” without any “Disorderly Conduct.”
Only someone with a “Fool Addiction” would say these “Hydrochondriac” champions aren’t “Livin Tha Dream” even if they’re “Slippery When Wet.” It’s been a “Long Time Coming” to toast some “Moonshine” with a low “Flash Point” that makes you “Whacker Smacker” at this “Pure Badness” “Whisky and Water” banquet saluting all of the 2008 IHBA Champions.
Lucas Oil … thanks for your sponsorship … last year was good trip.
Charlie and Nancy, thanks for your support … we’re all blessed to be part of this sport.
Rescue … without you guys … there’d be no one to ask who buys?
Racers … you’re the best … and may God bless.
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